You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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