my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
