Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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