Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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