I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You're so nebulous sometimes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
