"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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