margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
