I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
