We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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