First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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