There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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