On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There's always time for handjobs
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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