totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
