i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
