he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
