New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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