We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
