I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
