OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
jump out the window naked night went bad
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