Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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