Whod you bang
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
