is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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