id be glad to
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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