Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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