onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
