I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
