gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
