He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
