I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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