the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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