I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Vodka?
Forever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
