in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
