just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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