DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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