Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
