I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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