Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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