So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
