What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
