I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
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