he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I did not marry a roomba.
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