I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
