What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
