i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
