I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Still dying that you shit outside
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
