One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
