Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
