dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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