do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
