Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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