Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
