we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize