tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
