His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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