Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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