Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
