Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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