i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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