She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
