Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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