I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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