this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
a search helicopter?!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
