Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
