I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
